News Peed

CIA Begins Field Training At Water Country USA

LANGLEY, Va. According to reports, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) plans to relocate their primary training facility for student recruits to the popular amusement park Water Country USA in Williamsburg, VA.

The park, which features numerous water-based rides & attractions, was being considered by top CIA officials earlier this year. However, last week CIA Field Director Stanley Kowalski confirmed in an official statement that the park had been selected as the new facility for field training.

“We think all of the water will provide for optimal and realistic training simulations,” said Kowalski. “When you consider that the 70% of the planet is covered in water, it makes clear sense to train our recruits in related conditions.”

Kowalski went to specify how the park will be utilized, specifically noting that they “can’t wait to use Aquazoid for simulating both blackout & raining conditions.”

The park is equally excited about the new partnership. In a recent statement, park spokesperson Lisa Smithfield said that they “expect great results for both the park & our national security.” However, Smithfield declined to comment regarding the rumors on them using the wave pool for waterboarding practice.

Water Country USA is expected to maintain normal hours & operations while training is underway.

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