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Area Office Employee Can’t Decide On What Task To Procrastinate First

WOODBRIDGE, Va. – Throughout what has been described as an “insipid, truly uninspiring day of astronomical proportions,” Richard Shirley, a regional analyst for Capital One, is reportedly having trouble on selecting a task to procrastinate before all of the others. “I just can’t get in my groove today,” commented a sluggish Richard. “Normally, I have this routine down to the wire: I get to the office about 10-15 minutes late, I check Facebook, go to the bathroom, get some coffee, and then go talk to Chris over in accounting for a bit. But today, something is just off. I think it’s probably the weather.” Upon returning from his extended lunch break, Richard was seen taking a seat at his desk, and rearranging various documents & files in a randomized stacked order on his desk, and, according to one witness, moved his stapler & tape dispenser from one side of the keyboard to the other. Finally, in a bout of confidence, he announced “Now I’m ready to get this started” before pulling out his iPod to create a three hour long playlist to accompany the workload.

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