SKYLINE DRIVE – Despite the sharper turns and numerous speed limit signs posted on the road, Charlottesville resident Daniel Preston has reportedly taken to Skyline Drive as if it was the final battle in the Death Star trench from Star Wars IV: A New Hope.
Preston was reportedly running behind schedule, and placed himself in the imaginary seat of an X-wing racing against the clock to save the alliance. “Oh man, it was so much fun,” commented Preston after stopping near Waynesboro. “I would’ve totally evaded all of the tie fighters on my way to wreck the Empire had this been real. The Force was right there with me the whole time.”
According to witnesses, Preston began his drive about 30 miles north of the southern terminus at Rockfish Gap, and traveled south at high speeds, even with the treacherous turns. One witness, Mary Barlow, noted that “he might have actually been wearing a helmet, and I’m pretty sure I heard him radioing Wedge to watch his back during some of the maneuvers.”
Another witness was a local police offer who pulled Preston over for speeding. The officer, who asked to remain anonymous, mentioned that “Preston kept referring to me as ‘Vader,’ and even told me I’d never stop the rebel alliance from prosperity. Whatever, I still gave him a ticket.”
Although many experts have commented that was Preston was doing was reckless and highly dangerous, Preston has gone on defend his actions. “I was in a hurry to make it back home, so I figured what better way to make the trip in record time than by to imagine myself flanked by a couple of X-wings while being chased by a squadron of tie-fighters? Skywalker didn’t have all afternoon, and neither do I.”