RICHMOND, Va. – While many families around the world began preparations for Santa’s arrival with a traditional plate of fresh cookies and a glass of milk, one local apartment residence is taking a different route by leaving Santa Pabst Blue Ribbon (PBR) beer and faux chocolate chip cookies.
“Santa’s going to be downing pasteurized milk all night, you know he’s gotta be sick of it,” claimed apartment resident Nathan Reed. “We’re leaving him a couple of PBRs and vegan cookies that are lactose-free as our way of saying ‘Happy Holidays.’”
The decision to leave Santa cheap beer and faux sweets was unanimous among the three tenants, and according to roommate Joshua Templeton, some of the preparations were last minute. “We were all caught up with things and managed to make it to Kroger before they closed. Luckily they still had some PBR left. Chad had to wait in the car because he isn’t 21 yet, but the rest of us could go in. We were pretty surprised they were open, to be honest.”
The cookies, according to reports, were baked locally, and are non-GMO and gluten free. Research indicated they either came from Carytown or “Steve’s place over in Carver,” but no sources had confirmed this as of yet.
Reed indicated that they’ve left the snacks on a plate next to their Christmas tree, which stands out from all of the others. “Oh that? We found that at a thrift store a couple of weeks ago. It’s blue, and missing a few branches, but it works.”