YORKTOWN, Va. – It’s been a snow day filled with discouragement for local snowman Nippy, who reportedly is frustrated and disenchanted that neighborhood kids have chosen to spend a snow day inside on their laptops, phones, and other electronic devices.
Speaking with passersby, Nippy commented on the predicament he found himself in. “I’m out here all by myself because these damn kids would rather stay on the couch and snapchat dogfaces to each other. I’d rather have a rabbit chew my carrot nose off than do that. I bet that’d make for a good selfie, no?”
After a major weather system dumped up to 12’’ of snow in some areas this weekend, the Arnest family came together and built Nippy in their front lawn, who soon came to life through traditional, old fashioned magic. However, he later found himself deserted in the yard as the children soon retreated into the house for an afternoon of Netflix and Xbox Live.
“Remember the good ol’ days? When children would come together in the snowy streets and engage in snowball fights that inevitably landed a few stitches on some unlucky kid’s eye?” a sullen Nippy reminisced. “Man, what a jolly time that was. I haven’t seen anyone sledding today, and only two people have painfully slipped on ice. That’s gotta be a record low.”
Susan Barrows, a neighbor of the lawn Nippy resides on, claimed that while she enjoyed the bliss that came with winter weather, it was ultimately a more viable option to remain inside. “Sure, the snow is really nice and all, but, like, it’s really cold outside. And I’ve got Netflix, so there’s that.”
In addition to the amenities that indoors living has to offer, Nippy is also up against the weather, which is forecasted to bring warmer temperatures into the area this coming week. However, he shrugged off any meteorological threat. “At this point, the sooner I melt the better. Besides, the scarf they threw on me is absolutely hideous.”