WASHINGTON, DC – After much speculation over who would play Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration, it was officially announced this morning that the ensemble from the doomed RMS Titanic cruise ship will be playing at the event this Friday.
The big announcement comes shortly after the rock band 3 Doors Down was unveiled as a performer for the day, and was made during a recent press conference regarding the big day by Trump himself.
“I’m happy to announce that we’ve got a fantastic band set to play the biggest show ever on Friday,” he stated, excitedly. “I can’t remember their exact name, but let me tell you, they’re really great. Absolutely great. Really phenomenal musicians that know how to play.”
The quintet is best known for their April 15, 1912 performance aboard the Titanic. Despite the tragic circumstances facing them, the band continued to play onboard while the ship slowly sunk into the depths of the Atlantic. They’ve all since been recognized for their heroism.
Trump praised the group for their notorious performance on that ill-fated night, commending them for their bravery. “These guys, even though the tide was against them, they kept playing on through the night. They didn’t let a catastrophe stop them.”
He did, initially, have some reservations about their qualifications, but has since shrugged them off as unimportant.
“Sure, I prefer my musicians to not sink into the tremendously huge ocean, but what are you gonna do?”
Many of the band members have also expressed excitement over the upcoming performance. Violinist and bandleader Wallace Hartly described their sentiments in a recent interview. “It’s an honor to have the opportunity to play [Trump’s] inauguration. We’re used to performing during disasters of epic proportions, so we think we’re the right band for the job.”
“We can hardly wait to do this thing,” commented cellist Percy Taylor. “We’ve been perfecting our rendition of ‘Nearer My God To Thee,’ along with a few other surprises. We may even pull out a Ted Nugent cover, since the crowd will probably love it.”
The public’s reaction to the announcement has been overwhelmingly positive. Local Trump supporter Catherine Dexter claimed in a recent tweet that she’s “been a fan since seeing them in that Leonardo DiCaprio flick” and was looking forward to their show.
It is unclear if any other bands or musicians will be added to the inauguration’s lineup, although there have been rumors of composer John Williams making an appearance to perform his iconic score to the film Jaws.