Surprise Inauguration Lineup Includes Ghost of Benito Mussolini, Lenny Kravitz’s Brother
WASHINGTON, DC – The Trump transition team released a last minute lineup of guest speakers and performers for today’s inauguration, surprising both inauguration attendees and the awaiting press. A complete list of speakers is below:
Speakers:
-
Kevin Federline
-
Gallagher (speaking, not performing)
-
Live prison chat from Adnan Syed
-
Tanya Harding spoken word
-
Ghost of Benito Mussolini
-
Panel Discussion with Robert Mugabe, Bashar al-Assad, Rodrigo Duterte, & Jeff Bezos
-
Troy Landry, from History Channel’s Swamp People
-
Famed & deceased Nazi filmmaker Leni Riefenstahl
-
Ted Nugent, who was booked too late to actually perform but was given a time slot for speaking about the Second Amendment
Performers:
-
Levy Kravitz’s older brother, Dave
-
Cast of Broadway’s Cats
-
Resurrected 5th Confederate Infantry Division Marching Band
-
Probably someone that died in 2016
-
Only one of the Pips
-
Jeff Koons auctioning off a balloon
-
Michael Richards
-
Slash, assuming he gets lost and accidentally wanders onstage during Ted Nugent’s set
-
The half of Milli Vanilli that is still alive
Leave a Reply