Virginia House Democrats Completely Giving Up For Lent

RICHMOND, VA – Following a particularly demoralizing year in the Virginia General Assembly, House Democrats have announced plans to just completely give up for Lent. The decision came after a particularly contentious legislative session in which Democrats, who hold only 34 seats to the Republican’s 66, watched helplessly as bill after GOP-sponsored bill passed with overwhelming majorities. “Honestly? We’re just fed up,” commented House Minority Leader David Toscano, D-Charlottesville, as he and other representatives were leaving Ash Wednesday Mass. “Healthcare? Under threat. The Environment? Practically destroyed. Voter rights? Totally eff’ed. Frankly, 40 days of not dealing with this crap will be a welcome break.” When reached for comment, House Majority Leader Kirk Cox, R-Colonial Heights, expressed support for the Democrats’ decision. “It’s about time those secular sinners came around to the faith. A little prayer will do wonders for the Democratic Party; it’s been keeping us progressive since the ‘60s.”