News Peed

Party Host’s Baby Is The Life Of The Party

HENRICO, Va.—It was a lively evening for West End residents Ashley and Jesse Taylor, whose newborn son Grayson stole the show as the life of the family’s vibrant “Spring Fling” party last night.

“Just because we have a baby doesn’t mean we don’t like to have a good time,” exclaimed Ashley, as she held her baby while aggressively motioning to her husband to help clean off the spit up on her shoulder.

Ashley spent hours setting up their home with spring-themed snacks, games, and decorations. Regardless, many of the arriving guests made an immediate beeline to play with baby Grayson and to look at his brand-new Easter bunny costume. At the end of the party, it was reported that 94% of female party attendees had posted pictures of this costume on their Instagram pages.

During a round of Jellybean Bingo, a game Ashley had pinned onto her Pinterest board months ago in anticipation of the Spring Fling, Grayson began playing with his toes and giggling. All of the women participating immediately left the game to get a photo, leaving their boyfriends to finish the game alone.

As the party progressed, many of the guests offered the baby a sip of their alcoholic beverage as a silly gimmick, thinking that they were the first to make that joke. “We laugh about it every time to not make things awkward, but feeding babies alcohol is a serious hazard,” Ashley commented after the fifth time a guest humorously put his beer bottle up to her baby’s mouth.

At one point during the festivities, some of Ashley’s college sorority sisters were passing Grayson around when he started crying uncontrollably. Ashley claimed that “he’s just tired.” She urgently tried to divert everyone’s attention to the spring-themed cornhole game out back that she and Jesse made specifically for their party with pastel, polka dot boards and butterfly-shaped bags.

“He [Grayson] is too adorable,” exclaimed long-time neighbor Sharon Dupree, who didn’t hesitate to provide attribution to the baby’s looks. “Personally, I think he gets it all from his mother.”

In the corner sat single partygoer Andrew Bilson, who had been petting the Taylors’ German Shepherd the entire time. Ashley and Jesse adopted this dog when they first got married as a trial run for children.

“I don’t really know anyone here, and I’m not that into babies,” said Bilson. The dog concurred.

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