Keanu Reeves Contracted to Speed up BRT Launch

RICHMOND, Va. — Officials from the Greater Richmond Transportation Center (GRTC) announced today that, in an effort to expedite the ongoing construction of the Bus Rapid Transit (BRT) system, famous Hollywood actor Keanu Reeves has been contracted to assist in its completion.

The BRT system, often referred to as GRTC Pulse, is a high-capacity transit system that will connect the city’s East End and West End through the inner-city neighborhoods. After years of anticipation that came without delivery, construction on the BRT finally began earlier this year. However, despite the dedicated efforts from construction crews working around the clock, the project has yet to fully get off the ground.

The delay has been met with much frustration from many, including GRTC engineer Dale Sheppard, the mastermind behind the BRT layout. “The delay is becoming a serious problem, which needs a serious solution in response,” he stated in a recent interview.

Related (article continued below):
New GRTC Buses To Conveniently Take Up 2 Lanes Instead Of 1 ½

“That’s when we knew we needed to call in an expert.”

Reeves, who is best known for his performance in the seminal 1994 classic film “Speed,” is no stranger to fast-paced transportation and was offered a part on the team after meeting with Sheppard.

“I met [Reeves], and he had on a slick black suit with dark glasses,” Sheppard recalled. “And the first thing he said to me was ‘Pop quiz, hotshot: You’ve got a bus lane project that’s behind schedule, possibly over budget, and causing traffic issues due to its construction. What do you do?’ So we talked about some of the details of BRT, and then when I showed him the current status of Broad Street, he just looked around, paused, and uttered, ‘Whoa.’”

Not long after his first meeting with GRTC officials involved with the project, Reeves addressed reporters. “Ladies and gentleman, we’ve had a slight delay. Everything is going to be OK. We just can’t launch the BRT behind schedule. We have to maintain our speed here; if we slow down, we’re dead.”