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After Damning Email Leak, Dave Brat Denies Allegations That He Cares About Constituents

RICHMOND, Va. — The office of Congressman Dave Brat, R-Va., issued a formal response this afternoon denying allegations that he actually cares about his constituents. The controversy stems from a high-level email leak from the representative’s office, which indicated he may actually listen to his constituents’ concerns.

“Congressman Brat totally and completely rejects the false claims that he either listens to voters in his district or stands up for their views,” said the statement. The email leak, which became public yesterday morning, appears to show the congressman responding to emails from constituents and offering to voice their concerns. This is in stark contrast to his well-known and objectively terrible reputation for not caring at all about his voters’ views.

The statement continued, “As with all Republican members of the House, Congressman Brat strongly advocates on behalf of corporations and destroying the environment; he would never listen to his constituents and we find the accusation insulting.”

Following President Trump’s election in November, Congressman Brat has experienced increased pressure from his constituents for town hall meetings and calls for better representation, though he has been largely successful at evading these efforts. This leak would be yet another blow to the Congressman’s already poor public reputation.

Head spokesperson for the Brat office Jenny Stevens added, “Frankly, this sort of character assassination is offensive and distracting for the Congressman. Normally he would be golfing with Big Oil representatives or dining with the Gun Lobby, but now he has to answer to the people, hugely inconvenient.”

As of press time, Congressman Brat had been seen using his iPhone’s Wells Fargo app to deposit checks from Altria, Capital One, Dominion Power, Exxon, Nestle Corp, and Lockheed Martin.

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