Dominion Power: Sometimes We Burn Coal Just for Fun

RICHMOND, Va. — Employees from Dominion Power Company have recently reported that they will often burn coal in their free time simply for leisure.

Two staff members, Taylor Mills and Ian Haskins, have both worked at Dominion Power for more than ten years. “This job can get really boring,” Mills said. “It’s the same thing over and over. Receive the shipment of coal, put it on the conveyer belt, burn a hole into the ozone, repeat. It gets old. We like having something fun to do in our free time.”

Employees report that the practice of burning coal as a form of entertainment came from a former co-worker, Jerry Duggar, who used to do it on his lunch break and sometimes even after he had clocked out for the day. Employees further reported that Duggar is out on disability due to black lung.

When asked about the coal ash controversy and the lawsuit filed against Dominion Power for violating the Clean Water Act, Haskins responded, “I mean, good luck finding another power company. Plus, we host Riverrock every year. Why is everyone so ungrateful?”

At press time, all of the Richmond branch Dominion employees were seen doing belly flops into piles of coal ash.