News Peed

Mayor Levar Stoney Declares July as “Sun’s Out, Guns Out” Month

RICHMOND, Va. — Richmond mayor Levar Stoney is officially declaring July as a “Sun’s Out, Guns Out” month in the Richmond metropolitan area.

Throughout July, Richmonders will be encouraged, though not required, to wear sleeveless shirts at all times including in the workplace, at family functions, and especially on Tinder dates. The program should inspire residents to take up the mission and, according to Stoney, “show off those bangin’ honey-baked hams.”

The initiative aims to promote regular exercise and combat Vitamin D deficiency among Richmond residents, according to a press release issued by the mayor’s office. Stoney elaborated on the plan at a recent press conference.

“We know it’s going to be hot this summer, so we better make the most of it,” an excited Stoney remarked. “I ask that you, the people, cast off those sleeves and blast those guns for the world to see. Woohooo!”

Stoney added that baby oil would be available throughout the month at various “Grease Up” stations around the city.

“Richmond’s long been known for having a gun problem, but Stoney’s got you a gun solution,” commented the mayor, referring to himself in the third-person. He then ended his statement by throwing his jacket to the ground and tearing the sleeves off of his Ledbury dress shirt to the roaring approval of the gathered crowd.

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  1. Mayor Stoney Wears Cut-Off Slacks, Tie to Council Meeting – The Peedmont

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