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Texas Beach Skate Park Construction Site Vandalized by Skater Punks

RICHMOND, Va. — The construction site for the expansion of the skate park at Texas Beach has just been vandalized by a group of skater punks.

Renovation of the park began in the spring of 2017 when the city of Richmond collaborated with the Richmond Area Skateboard Alliance to build a park close to the river.

City officials said that the skate park is intended to give skaters a safe, enclosed space in which to skateboard and get them the fuck off the streets where normal people are trying to drive.

“This vandalization really sets us back,” Hank Cassel, Richmond City construction official, said. “We’ve had to hire an outside cleaning contractor to get the spray paint off. Do these damn kids even want a new park?”

After a brief tantrum about how everything the city does goes unappreciated, Cassel reported that the park was found covered in graffiti spelling out phrases like “Sk8 or Die,” “2Cool 4Skool,” and a various assortment of anarchy symbols.

He concluded his statement to the press by stating the city’s intention to clean up and rebuild and explaining that this is why they can’t have nice things.

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