News Peed

Richmond Police Find Person of Interest “Not Very Interesting”

RICHMOND, Va. — After a string of robberies in the city’s Jackson Ward district, Richmond Police recently identified George Bohannon, 45, as a “person of interest” in the case. There was, however, one minor issue: he’s not at all interesting.

Richmond Police Sergeant Hank Thompson, a 12-year veteran of the RPD, headed up the investigation. Thompson’s initial inquiries led to the discovery of Bohannon as a person of interest.

“There were five robberies that occurred in Jackson Ward over a period of ten days,” Thompson said. “By talking to residents, we were given information that pointed us in Bohannon’s direction.”

Once he was on their radar, police spent a considerable amount of time monitoring Bohannon’s daily routine and activities before bringing him in. In hindsight, it appears to have been an exercise in futility.

Detective Jack Toney, who has been working closely with Thompson on the investigation, tracked Bohannon extensively. “He’s single and lives at home with his mother,” Toney noted. “Eats at the same restaurant on the same day each week. He doesn’t even have any hobbies. To be honest, I kind of feel sorry for the poor guy.”

On Tuesday Bohannon was picked up for questioning, a move Thompson later regretted.

“We interviewed him for hours,” Thompson said. “All of his stories just seemed to drag on. It’s weird; they didn’t even start off interesting. Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but at one point I thought about slapping him in the face just so he could have a better story.”

After several hours of interrogation, Richmond Police deemed Bohannon no longer a person of interest, and he was free to leave the station.

“In our line of work, we tend to meet our fair share of colorful characters,” Toney admitted. “Not this guy. This guy is as mundane as they come. I don’t think he had anything to do with the break-ins, but I thought about locking him up for almost boring me to death.”

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