Local Winery to Offer Fall Douchebag Tasting

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. — Fall is approaching in Charlottesville and many University of Virginia students are looking for fun activities to for the weekends. One Charlottesville winery, Keswick Vineyards, is offering a limited-time Bros and Hos fall wine tasting for UVA’s finest student wine connoisseurs.

For the price of $55 per person, male guests will receive Keswick’s standard wine tasting followed by a shot of Bulleit Bourbon. Guests will also leave with a custom Keswick Vineyards Brooks Brothers pocket tee in the pastel color of their choice.

For the ladies, Keswick will be offering a special Instagram-friendly winery tour. A party bus will carry groups throughout the property and stop at Keswick’s most idyllic photo-ops, giving winery guests the ability to thoroughly document their day via social media. Keswick will provide guests with selfie sticks and a custom Snapchat filter to optimize their wine-tasting experience.

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UVA junior Bryce Marin and his yellow lab named Cav joined fraternity brothers James and Ethan, along with their identical yellow labs also named Cav, for a lazy afternoon in the idyllic Charlottesville countryside.

“This is, like, the best place to go after a night of getting fucked up. Plus, the girls here are fuckin’ hot.”

Games of cornhole will be set up around the outdoor patio, and PDA safe zones will be established so that participants can make out and grope each other without judging glances from other patrons. Guests participating in the Bros and Hos wine tasting will also be able to speak as loudly as desired, curse without restraint, and have their dogs poop all over the property with complete disregard for other winery visitors.

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