RICHMOND, Va. — Despite determined efforts to organize a timely social gathering, reports indicate that friends of Aaron Haskett have yet to arrive at his Fan apartment for a few drinks before embarking on a night of neighborhood bar hopping.
According to Haskett, the schedule for the evening was to start at Sticky Rice around 10:30 p.m. and then head down Main Street, with planned stops at F.W. Sullivan’s and 3 Monkeys. However, unforeseen events resulting from, per Haskett, “all of my friends’ inability to ever be on time for anything, ever,” affected the evening.
“It all started when I told everyone to meet up at my place for a few rounds,” explained Haskett. “I said 9:30 p.m. in the group text, thinking people would start showing up around 10. I mean it’s Friday night after all.”
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Things took a turn for the worse, though, when 10 p.m. arrived and only two invitees — Jessica and Taylor — had shown up. The low attendance foreshadowed the looming possibility that the proposed nightlife itinerary would be severely delayed.
Haskett went into detail about the events that spiraled out of control from there.
“I sent one last message around 10:15, seeing where everyone was at. Eventually I got a text from Steve saying he was ‘on his way,’ but that was over 45 minutes ago. And Amanda said she was stopping at a friend’s birthday party on Grove on her way over. Nobody has heard from her since.”
The situation worsened when good friend Jordan, who was appointed to pick up some mixers from a convenience store, also failed to show up. “When I asked Jordan where he was, I didn’t get a response until 20 minutes later. And it was just a Snapchat of him with other friends watching the new ‘Rick and Morty.’ What the hell?”
At the time of reporting, only two of the five people scheduled to meet up had successfully arrived at Haskett’s apartment in the Fan neighborhood.
“We don’t even know if we want to go out anymore. I mean, it’s 11:30 already. There’s bound to be a line to get in wherever we go now.”
Later reports show that despite the delays, the trio went to Baja for 45 minutes, then called it a night.