ASHLAND, Va. — As Halloween approaches next week, area spirits that rest beneath the grounds of the Ashland Berry Farm in Ashland, VA have become increasingly critical against using the land as a haunted attraction. In a letter to local officials, many ghosts cited “high pitched screams, never-ending footsteps on our sacred soil, and way too many haunted hayrides with what must be the loudest tractor ever conceived by man” as the leading reasons for complaint. The Ashland Berry Farm has long been a popular attraction every Halloween, featuring multiple haunted houses and a forest that participants walk through, where they’ll encounter actors dressed as ghouls and creatures of the night. Every year though, according to the land’s ghosts, the noise and overall disturbances on their peaceful resting places continue to worsen. “Seriously, how many chainsaws do you jerks need to scare people?” complained the spirit of the late John Morty, who’s soul has remained trapped in the grounds since the 1950s. “Me and my deceased wife Ethel haven’t gotten any sleep since September, all because you just have to have your little haunts here. Enough is enough: turn down the damn music, stop witht he high pitched screaming, and get off of our burial lawn!”
The Ashland Berry Farm is expected to continue the event next year.