News Peed

“Those players should stand for the anthem!” Says Applebee’s Patron Ordering Appetizers During Anthem

ROCKY MOUNT, Va. — Addressing the entirety of the crowded restaurant bar, frequent patron and Applebee’s loyalty club member Travis Durtle announced at the start of an NFL game, “Those players should stand for the anthem!”

After rousing little to no reaction from his fellow sports fans, Durtle spent the remaining two minutes of the anthem putting in a food order with his waitress. The order was for salsa verde beef nachos.

Prior to the start of the televised game, Durtle had been heard mentioning to no one in particular that he was “sick to shit of all this kneeling nonsense.” He expanded upon his position by explaining that while he had never served, “I have friends who served and are veterans themselves, and I haven’t asked their opinions but I know they’re damn offended by this.”

When confronted about the hypocrisy of placing his food order during the anthem, Durtle quickly defended himself by saying “I ain’t there in person or no such and I love this country, but after 8 p.m., happy hour ends and apps go back up to full price, so I had to get it in.”

It was later reported that Durtle found the nachos “absolutely bangin’,” and thus presumably worth it.

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