Cha Cha’s Patron Spends Majority of Night Deciding Whether to Piss in Bathrooms or Nearby Canal

RICHMOND, Va. — During the chaos of a lively Saturday evening, recent University of Richmond graduate Clay Hilliard spent most of his night at Cha Cha’s Cantina trying to decide between urinating in the bar bathrooms or into the canal one block south.

Hilliard went to Shockoe Slip with some of his fraternity brothers, initially meeting up at Southern Railway Taphouse. Around 11:15 p.m., Hilliard and his friends left Taphouse to stand in line for Cha Cha’s Cantina where they spent the rest of their night.

According to Hilliard, the choice was made due to Cha Cha’s demographic and beverage selection. “We go to Cha Cha’s for the girls and the booze,” Hilliard explained. “Some of my Delta brothers were there, too.”

However, things took a turn around 11:35, when Hilliard realized he had to use the bathroom.

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Eyewitness accounts confirm that he left his friends on the dance floor to go use the facilities, but he was deterred by the number of people waiting in line. “I really don’t want to stand in this line,” Hilliard complained to bystanders. He then spent over an hour pacing between the bathroom and the front door, asking other bar patrons if the nearby canal was pee-friendly.

“Ugh, this sucks,” he said. “I don’t want to leave, but the canal is right there, and I don’t think anyone’s walked over there since Chad went to piss about 15 minutes ago. But I also don’t want to get busted for it. I don’t know what to do, man.”

Hilliard also engaged with Cha Cha’s staff, asking their front door security if he would be allowed to re-enter. “He begged, but I told him he’d have to wait in line again if he left,” bouncer Jamie Weaver said, further explaining that this particular scenario was nothing out of the ordinary. “A lot of people want to go piss in the canal, but they change their mind when they realize they’ll be stuck waiting another 20 minutes to come back inside.”

“And out of those that do go,” Weaver continued, “half of them accidentally stumble and fall into the canal. We keep telling the city police officers on duty to bring a lifeguard on the weekends, but they never listen.”

Hilliard was reunited with his friends on the dance floor around 1:00 a.m. after ultimately choosing to sneak away to a corner of the patio and urinate into an empty solo cup.