December 2017

Your Peedmont Horoscope for 2018

Here in time for the new year are The Peedmont’s first ever horoscopes, divined from the stars by our crack team of new age astrologers. Aries The year ahead holds many changes and some turbulent times. Be wary with new romance and whatever [read more ... ]

Global Sperry Shortage Causes Panic On UVA Campus

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. – What started out as a normal week at Charlottesville’s prestigious campus quickly spiraled into chaos as a worldwide shortage of Sperry’s brand of shoes struck the area. The shortage is the result of both insufficient [read more ... ]

Annual Monster Truck Rally to Be Relocated to Altria Theater During Coliseum Renovation

RICHMOND, Va. — With the Richmond Coliseum scheduled to be rebuilt over the coming year many of Richmond’s most popular annual events have been forced to find new homes. Perhaps the most difficult of these relocations was for the yearly monster [read more ... ]

Glen Allen Man Embarrassed After Misunderstanding Russia Probe

GLEN ALLEN, Va. — Glen Allen resident Terry Adams found himself in an uncomfortable situation when it became clear that his understanding of the Russian probe into the Trump administration was incorrect, in that Trump was not being physically [read more ... ]

Report: Everyone in Family Brought Smithfield Ham to Christmas Dinner Potluck

FREDERICKSBURG, Va. — It was a mixture of delight, chaos, and sodium at the Johnson dinner table this Christmas as, according to reports, everybody in the family brought a dish featuring traditional Virginia Smithfield ham to the family potluck. [read more ... ]

It’s a Wonderful Life Without Dave Brat

WASHINGTON D.C. —Reports are coming in that Rep. Dave Brat, R-7th, had a very odd experience last night that has him questioning whether others’ lives would be better without him. Brat was sitting comfortably in his chauffeured car when he [read more ... ]

AMBER Alert Issued for NOVA Resident Who’s Been Binge Shopping in Tysons Corner

FALLS CHURCH, Va. — At approximately 8 o’clock this morning, Virginia State Police issued an AMBER Alert for Falls Church resident Michael Fellows who was last seen shopping at one of the many retail shops in Tysons Corner Center. It has been [read more ... ]

Powhite Toll Booth Plans to Retire Early After Receiving Years of Extra Change

RICHMOND, Va. — A Powhite toll booth recently announced its plan to go into early retirement after gaining copious amounts of excess change throughout its career. “I’ve worked hard for 30 years receiving coins, flashing my lights red and [read more ... ]

Op-ed: When Santa Claus Does It, It’s Charming, But When I Do It, I Get Served With a Restraining Order

I’ve never really gotten why that guy gets a pass. He breaks into all our homes one night a year and nobody bats an eyelash. Father Christmas, Père Noël, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Santa Claus — sounds like a series of aliases for someone [read more ... ]