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McAuliffe Vows to Keg Stand for as Many Seconds as Number of Vetoes

RICHMOND, Va. — With his term quickly running out, Governor Terry McAuliffe made an announcement on Monday morning, pledging to do a keg stand for the same amount of seconds as the number of bills that he vetoed while in office.

“As a way to connect with the antiquated legislation that I’ve prevented and the Virginia craft breweries that I visited while in office, I vow to keg stand for as many vetoes as I’ve made,” Governor McAuliffe said during his announcement. “I’ve visited every brewery in Virginia. And I’m the only governor that can say that.”

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Throughout his four-year term, Governor McAuliffe vetoed more bills than any other governor in Virginia history. Since 2013, he has stopped 111 bills from passing, breaking the record of former governor Jim Gilmore.

Governor McAuliffe told reporters that his biggest concern is which keg to choose. “I’ve discovered so many great breweries since I came into office,” he explained. “In fact, I’ve visited every single Virginia brewery during my term.”

He told reporters that he plans to execute the keg stand on the morning of the inauguration as a way to ceremoniously complete his term. He has invited all of his staffers to cheer him on and count down. “I want everyone there who helped me with my achievements while I served as governor,” he said. “My achievements such as restoring voting rights to former inmates and visiting every brewery in the state of Virginia.”

At press time, witnesses saw Governor McAuliffe trying to persuade Governor-elect Ralph Northam to participate in the keg stand challenge while giving him a noogie.

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  1. Terry McAuliffe Takes St. Patrick’s Day Off, Still Drunker Than Everyone at Siné – The Peedmont

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