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Mayor Stoney’s Redevelopment Plan to Include Sweet Bounce House

RICHMOND, Va. As the new year rapidly approaches, the Richmond mayor’s office has been hard at work finalizing plans for 2018. With a flurry of last minute edits to help meet budgeting restrictions, the 2018 Redevelopment Plan finally moved off the mayor’s desk early yesterday afternoon. While the proposal meets all the general expectations for refurbishing and rebuilding many public buildings, the most notable line item is for the erection of a new, and purportedly “sweet,” bounce house for Byrd Park.

“This thing is gonna be a total blast and is a PR slam dunk for our office,” Junior Chief of Staff Todd Harkley said. “I can’t tell you how often Mayor Stoney has found himself in the park on a sunny afternoon desperate for the perfect mixture of full body exercise and juvenile exuberance.”

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The mayor’s office further discussed the new jobs that it would bring to the city. Once the bounce house is erected, park officials will be seeking to hire a small team of indifferent teenagers to occasionally maintain the functions of the portable air compressor and to loosely monitor occupancy of the bounce house when they feel like it.

When pressed on how this made its way onto the tightly budgeted plan, Harkley responded, “These things don’t cost half as much as you might think.” The bounce house plan additionally comes with the added benefit of not requiring zoning or code approval since it is classified as a temporary structure and is not a livable domicile. “We plan to deflate it late every evening to discourage overnight use,” Harkely said. “Though honestly, once we have this set up, I’m not sure the fun will ever stop.”

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