RICHMOND, Va. — According to local residents, Corey Stewart was seen kissing the Jefferson Davis monument on New Year’s Eve after not having anyone else to kiss.
Stewart, former Republican gubernatorial candidate currently vying for a Senate seat, was spotted throughout the evening at several different establishments in the Richmond area. Although he reportedly always arrived alone, he was consistently attempting interactions with female patrons.
RELATED (article continued below):
- Corey Stewart Proposes to Move Capital Back to Danville
- Corey Stewart Introduces Medicaid Plan Offering Leeches And Rusted Cutlery
- Mayor Levar Stoney Proposes Moving Monument Avenue, Leave Monuments Behind
“He was talking with me and some of my other girlfriends at Social 52 for a while, but we kept trying to walk away,” Allison Lewis, 29, said. “He kept on bringing up ‘the dangerous state of the Commonwealth,’ and states’ rights. Eventually we just went somewhere else to get away from him.”
Around 11:55 p.m. Stewart was seen pacing along the 2300 block of Monument Avenue, eventually stopping at the Jefferson Davis monument.
Richmond City police officer Doug Marshall was on the scene and witnessed the event first-hand.
“I thought it was someone vandalizing the statue at first,” he told reporters. “I was about to turn on my emergency light, but then I realized that the gentleman was kissing it. I honestly didn’t know what to do, or if that was even a crime, so I just let him go.”
When reached for comment, Stewart explained, “Jefferson Davis is the father of the South who lead the fight for liberty and justice. I couldn’t think of anyone better to have an intimate moment with at midnight than a steadfast Confederate hero and my own personal role model. I feel an even deeper connection to him now.”
At press time, Stewart was seen walking back to the Jefferson Davis monument with a bouquet of red roses, whispering something about Valentine’s Day.
Show your support for totally non-fake journalism – check out our online store here.