RICHMOND, Va. – Speaking in front of an eager crowd gathered at the Virginia Capitol building, Mayor Levar Stoney revealed today that a statue of the notorious Oderus Urungus, famed lead vocalist from the local metal band GWAR, would be added to Richmond’s historic Monument Avenue, replacing the soon-to-be-removed Robert E. Lee monument.
“We’re happy to announce today that our city’s very own Oderus Urungus will be replacing the Lee monument on Monument Avenue,” Stoney proudly stated during a press conference. “GWAR is well respected throughout the community and are true artists when it comes to total musical annihilation.”
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Going into further detail on the decision, Mayor Stoney cited the city’s increased effort to balance the sometimes negative view of the city’s Confederate heritage. He noted that while Oderus may seem out of place on a street filled with Confederate icons, he is the first of many additions that will help the city move in a more inclusive and progressive direction.
“While GWAR’s cemented status as a successful Richmond band was certainly a factor in the decision making process, ultimately this was a no-brainer,” commented Stoney, “Oderus’ proud legacy of mercilessly slaughtering scum and celebrity fodder will now be immortalized as a shrine for everyone to enjoy.”
The announcement culminated with the grand unveiling of the bronze Oderus statue, which depicts the singer in his traditional attire. The unveiling was done while speakers blasted GWAR’s “Saddam A Go Go,” one of their more popular anthems.
Long time GWAR manager Sleazy P. Martini was also on hand at the event and happily addressed the crowd.
“Yeah, that’s right you fuckin’ losers, mighty Oderus is taking over the block with all of these other second place Confederate slimedogs. That loser Bob E. Lee better keep on retreating. Good fuckin’ job, Richmond! What took you assholes so long with this one?”
The announcement was met with widespread acclaim from the audience; many speculated what this could possibly mean for the other monuments currently on the strip. One fan, Rachel Chisholm, wondered if this could mean a brutal slaying of his Confederate neighbors. “If only he could actually rip Jackson’s head off and disembowel him with his own bayonet.”
The new statue is expected to go up shortly after the Lee monument comes down. According to multiple City Hall aides, Oderus beat out several other iconic Richmonders, including Pat Benatar, D’Angelo, Bagel the Beagle, and Jimmy Dean.
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