News Peed

Omarosa Fired, Seen Taking Up Shifts as Club Rouge Bouncer

RICHMOND, Va. — Former White House political aide and star of “The Apprentice,” Omarosa Manigault Newman was seen working the door at Club Rouge last Friday. Sources confirmed that she took the new gig as a bouncer after being unceremoniously fired from her job at the White House on Dec. 12.

Reports state that Manigault Newman was forcibly removed from the White House after demanding to speak to the President regarding her termination. Her ouster comes as Chief of Staff John Kelly works to bring order to a frequently turbulent White House.

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While Manigault Newman will not officially depart from her White House post as Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison until Jan. 20, she elected to begin her job search immediately. Although she received offers from Jiffy Lube and Buffalo Wild Wings, she elected to join Club Rogue.

According to Andrew Sinclair, owner of Club Rouge, she caught his eye when the details of her termination were revealed.

“After hearing how she hip checked the shit out of a Secret Service agent and called Kelly ‘a little bitch,’ I knew she was the perfect hire for our security team,” Sinclair said. “She seems like someone with a lot of aggression to work through and keeping Club Rouge classy is the perfect way for her to do it. It’s a win-win for everyone.”

Although her official title is “Bouncer,” patrons entering the premises each received business cards where she referred to herself as “Deputy Director of Ingress and Special Assistant to Bambi Glitter.”

Sinclair admitted that Manigault Newman has grossly overstated her role at Club Rouge but dismissed assertions that was an issue.

“I don’t care if she calls herself the Pope of the Pole,” Sinclair said. “As long as she is able to keep riff-raff outside so we can keep making it rain inside, she can use whatever title she wants. We have the hottest bottoms in the Bottom, and I’m proud to have Omarosa on my staff keeping our girls safe.”

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