Northam Not Renting U-Haul for Move to Governor’s Mansion: “It’ll Fit in My Truck”

RICHMOND, Va. — Governor-elect Ralph Northam pledged this week to not spend any Virginia taxpayer money on a moving vehicle for his transition into the Executive Mansion, opting instead to use his personal truck. Northam told reporters his 1996 Toyota Tacoma would be able to fit all of his things and that he “didn’t need no fancy movin’ truck to get from Nassawadox to Richmond.”

The current lieutenant governor of the Commonwealth rejected notions that a couple of bungee cords and elbow grease couldn’t pack all of his belongings into the bed of his truck.

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“I bought that truck back in ‘03 and me and my buddies took it from Norfolk to Venice Beach,” Northam continued. “Hell of a time. We packed everything we needed into the bed of the truck — hot dogs, couple coolers of Budweiser, and my dog, Hank. I ain’t payin’ for no U-Haul when I got the Ralph Rider.”

The governor-elect’s transition team chair, Don Larson, explained that Northam is set in his ways, even if it means that some of his or his family’s belongings will be damaged en route to the Executive Mansion.

“Look,” Larson said, “if it were up to me, we’d have rented the U-Hauls months ago. But I’m not one to change Ralph’s mind. All I’ll say is, if you see a red truck jam-packed with fishing rods and suits racing west on I-64, get out of the way.”

Northam would be the first governor in Virginia’s history to move to Richmond in a completely DIY fashion. Governor McAuliffe went to the farthest lengths to avoid using conventional means of moving by creating his own company, hiring 30 employees to complete the move, and then holding a press conference that used the newly-formed “McAuliffe Movers” as an example of the newly flourishing Virginia economy.

Northam eschewed any final questions regarding the move and how long it would take. “This isn’t my first rodeo,” Northam stated. “I got my boys from the shore helping me on this one, and we’ve moved much worse. We don’t need no fancy bells and whistles to get from A to B.”

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