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VCU Brandcenter Offers Newest Track: Insufferability

RICHMOND Va. — The VCU Brandcenter announced it will begin offering its new Insufferability degree concentration in the fall of 2019. The new classes enhance the two-year master’s program’s world-class advertising education by providing specific training in how to act like a narcissistic douche.

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“Our new Insufferability track was born out of a desire to break new ground in producing people who can act like complete dipshits,” Topher Kent, the Brandcenter’s director said. “Today’s cutthroat advertising landscape doesn’t need any more creative geniuses; it needs hipster types who can state the obvious to clients in a way that sounds visionary and bleeding edge.”

The intensive 24-month program combines classroom instruction with project-based learning to ensure that graduates walk away the ability to be completely off-putting to everyone they meet. Students will receive specific training on how to tell people they are “creative disruptors” as well as more focused instruction on name-dropping, maintaining a consistent air of smugness, and collecting art theory books but never reading them.

The Brandcenter’s rigorous curriculum is supplemented with weekly guest lectures and one-on-one mentoring from some of the nation’s most annoying dickbags including Jared Leto, Wes Anderson, Kanye West, Dave Brat, and Lena Dunham.

“We want our graduates to walk away with an exhaustive toolkit for making sure the world knows they went to the number one advertising school in the country,” Kent said. “At this point, the Brandcenter is basically trading on name recognition. Our growth-hacking strategy is to graduate people every 12 months who can wow others with their bullshit and keep us relevant.”

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3 Comments on VCU Brandcenter Offers Newest Track: Insufferability

  1. Suck my dick from the back, Peedmont sluts.

    Like

  2. The Peedmont is no longer a satirical news site.

    Like

  3. Sign me up!

    Like

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