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Thomas the Tank Engine Thrown out of Richmond Wine Station

RICHMOND, Va. — Thomas the Tank Engine, 38, of the Island of Sodor was charged with public intoxication and disorderly conduct after being thrown out of Richmond Wine Station last Thursday.

Thomas entered the Scott’s Addition self-serve wine bar at 7:30 p.m. with a friend who identified himself only as Percy. At approximately 9:00 p.m., Thomas was asked to leave after he began harassing other patrons.

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“Several of our guests complained that Thomas had reached an unacceptable level of intoxication,” the manager Frank Debonne said. “He asked three women to show him their cabooses and told one that he wanted to ‘bust her boiler.’ We determined his behavior was inappropriate and asked him to leave immediately. He refused. We then called the police.”

Thomas was escorted from the premises by Richmond Police and arrested. Witnesses at the scene reported that a visibly intoxicated Thomas scuffled with officers and screamed, “I bet Bob the Builder doesn’t have to put up with bullshit like this.”

Thomas’ friend Percy, who witnessed the incident, indicated this has happened before.

“Thomas has gotten us kicked out of places up and down the Northeast Corridor,” Percy said. “We’ve only been in Richmond for two weeks and we are already banned from Southern Railway Taphouse and now Richmond Wine Station. It’s really gotten out of hand. Sir Toppem Hat and I have tried numerous times to get him to go to rehab, but he refuses.”

Thomas was charged with disorderly conduct and public intoxication and was booked at the Richmond City Jail. He was released on a $5,000 bond and ordered to appear in court on Feb. 8.

“These charges are completely false,” Thomas stated at his arraignment. “I was not drunk. Do you have any idea how much I have to drink to get wasted? I’m Thomas the TANK Engine. I’m going to start going to Triple Crossing Brewery where they aren’t such wankers about having a few drinks.”

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