Northam Announces First Act as Governor Is to Remove Passed Out Terry McAuliffe From Capitol Lawn
RICHMOND, Va. — Following the events of his inauguration weekend, Governor Ralph Northam announced this morning that his first official act will be to remove former Governor Terry McAuliffe from the Capitol’s lawn. McAuliffe reportedly passed out on the front lawn during the inauguration after-party after helping tap a keg of Center of the Universe with fellow revelers and has yet to wake up.
“Now that I’m all settled in, the first thing on my list is to go get Terry off the lawn and into a cab or something,” Northam commented, adding that the former governor was becoming an eyesore for passersby. “When Levar [Stoney] went to go check on him yesterday, he said something barely above a grumble and then rolled back over on his side, still knocked out. It’s been two days now, he needs to go.”
Northam was last seen walking out of the Executive Mansion toward the incapacitated former governor with a bottle of water while calling for an Uber on his phone.
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just dump him in the river