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Trump Caught Groping the Seal of the Commonwealth

RICHMOND, Va. During a routine visit to the Commonwealth’s Capitol last week, President Trump reportedly paused near a hanging Virginia state flag and groped the Seal of the Commonwealth.

The meeting the President was attending was not open to the public, but a legislative aide, speaking under the condition of anonymity, reported that Trump clasped the fold of the flag depicting the goddess Virtus’s bare breast in his palm. This report was corroborated by three others, one of whom claimed the President cracked a wry smile and another who asserted that he said, “honka honka” under his breath.

The action went unaddressed by either White House or Virginia state officials for the rest of the visit, and after a meeting with new Governor Ralph Northam, the President quickly departed on Marine One. When reached for comment, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders shrugged and said, “Virtus is a beautiful woman, he just can’t help himself.”

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