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Rhinedr: A New Dating App Specifically for Neo-Nazis

ARLINGTON, Va. — White nationalists throughout Virginia now have a reason to goose step for joy. An Arlington startup has released Rhinedr, a dating app specifically for neo-Nazis. The app, whose slogan is “Swipe right. Swipe white,” was built to match men and women with national socialist ideologies who are seeking love and companionship.

“It’s hard to date and be a good soldier for the race war,” Rhinedr’s creator, Evan Fischer, said. “Rhinedr was born out of my own struggle with dating. I simply couldn’t find a woman who also lived in constant fear of white genocide.”

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To access the app, prospective users must complete a profile, recite the 14 Words, and submit their DNA to certify they are of pure Nordic descent. Once accepted, they may begin using Rhinedr to connect to others who share the same appalling views as they do. When a user finds someone of interest, they swipe to the right. If a user is not interested they simply scream, “Antifa scum” to permanently hide the other person’s profile.

According to Fischer, anyone who swipes left receives a lifetime ban. “Anything to the left is at odds with white supremacy,” he explained.

Initial development of Rhineder proved difficult, as they had a hard time finding angel investors for the endeavor; however, a last minute influx of capital from Sebastian Gorka and Tim “Baked Alaska” Gionet helped push the app to completion.

“I’m proud of what we have built,” Fischer said in a recent interview. “We need like-minded men and women to meet and procreate so that we can breed more pureblood children. It’s the only way we can effectively win the race war and build a white utopia.”

At press time, Rhinedr had approximately 200 men and one woman using the app. The lone woman reported that she was going to delete the app, having received a near constant barrage of photos of erect penises with the caption “Sieg Heil baby.”

Fischer admitted adoption has been slow, but said he hoped the president’s dog whistle Twitter rants might convince more people that being filled with irrational hate does not mean they shouldn’t also find love.

Searching for the perfect gift for whatever holiday is coming up next? Search no further than our online store. Also, for a company that doesn’t invent alt-right dating tools but actually helps people, check out Doctors Without Borders.

 

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