RICHMOND, Va. — Witnesses have reported that members of the elite fighting dojo known as Cobra Kai have been spotted frequenting Richmond’s barcade, The Circuit.
The popular Scott’s Addition bar and arcade combo opened last year and was warmly welcomed by nostalgic adults ready to recapture the joy of visiting the local arcade. What the public was seemingly unprepared for, however, was the resurgence of 1980s-era bullying that accompanied the return of their beloved pastime.
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“These guys are terrifying,” patron James Downwell said. “We were hanging out, trying to beat the high score on the No Fear pinball machine, and these bad looking dudes roll in wearing black gis and headbands — they looked real menacing.” Other witnesses to the group’s first appearance confirmed the gang’s fearsome appearance and said they split their time between playing Street Fighter and leering at people playing DDR.
“Initially we didn’t think much of them,” shared a Circuit employee who only gave the name Player1. “But then they got into some kind of attack formation and started bullying the people playing DDR. One of them, presumably the leader of the pack, kept yelling ‘Sweep the leg!’ at his buddies, and they kept knocking all the dancers’ legs out from under them.”
“One guy who got tripped had picked ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ as his DDR song,” she added. “He may have been trying to start something, but those Cobra Kai boys definitely finished it.”
Patrons of the popular late-night spot said that, while they were intimidated, they held out hope that the reign of terror would be short-lived.
“Surely someone will rise up against these karate-belt-clad bullies and put them in their place,” Jane Trine, the current Dig Dug high score holder, said.
Others echoed her sentiment, sharing in the belief that eventually some mousy underdog would spend hours training in the backyard of a knowledgeable local elder and then come to The Circuit to challenge Cobra Kai at their own game, or possibly the Pac-Man Championship Edition. Until then, the city will just have to keep waiting for their hero to appear.
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