Graduate Hotel Refuses Entry to Man With GED

RICHMOND, Va. — Stating that they have worked too hard to allow in people of less advanced accomplishments, owners of Richmond’s Graduate Hotel recently refused admission to a patron with a GED.

The Graduate Hotel, which opened in Richmond during the summer of 2017, prides itself on granting access only to those who have been awarded a diploma at some point in their elite lives. Hotel manager Theo Clarke told reporters that the establishment has a reputation to uphold and has earned the privilege to make non-graduates feel bad about themselves.

RELATED (article continued below):

• Area Man Wins Lottery, Spends Winnings On Quirk Hotel Rooftop Bar, Now Broke

• University of Richmond Graduate Shocked to Find Out That VMFA Happy Hour Has Art
• Richmond Young Professional Only Mentions “Lower Cost of Living” 34 Times in Conversation with D.C. Colleagues

Geoff McDougal, the individual who tried to enter the exclusively edified sanctuary, told reporters that he was just trying to find somewhere in Richmond to stay for the weekend when he was denied access due to his lack of higher education.

“They asked for my driver’s license, credit card, and proof of diploma,” McDougal said. “I told them I dropped out of high school when I was younger and earned my GED instead.” The hotel security team appeared moments later to escort McDougal off the premises.

“If we had wanted someone with a GED to stay in our hotel, we would have called ourselves ‘The GED,’” Clarke explained, with indisputable logic.

At press time, Clarke was seen giving McDougal directions to The Jefferson, explaining that “they let in any old riffraff.”

You made it this far, so you might as well check out our online store while you’re at it.