Young Professional Tears Himself Away From Work Long Enough to Smugly Attend Happy Hour in Suit

FREDERICKSBURG, Va. — Stressing the fact that he’s just swamped at work, local young professional Justin Pullman managed to extricate himself from his desk for a few minutes to attend happy hour with his friends, sources confirmed Monday.

Witnesses reported that Pullman arrived at Home Team Grill from his entry-level accounting job approximately 25 minutes late, wearing a navy blue double-breasted wool suit. He then ordered an Old Fashioned, neat, and gently took a seat to avoid wrinkling the outfit his mom purchased from the Haggar outlet in Williamsburg.

“Sorry I’m late, rush hour just sucks,” Pullman told his friends upon arrival. “I didn’t even have the chance to go home and change clothes. But the clothes make the man, right?” he added, eyeing his friend’s T-shirt and shorts.

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Pullman attributed his dapper style and sense of superiority to the fact that his parents made him take a few summer classes, allowing him to finish his bachelor’s degree a semester early and lord his $33,000 salary over his friends. He then went on to discuss his many areas of responsibility, which include scanning all of the documents for quarter-end close, proofreading reports, sending customer invoices, and reviewing the 16 emails he was cc’d on, much to his friend’s dismay.

“Justin is such a douche,” Brian Harris, Pullman’s roommate, stated as he was heading to the bathroom. “He just got that job because his dad works there. But whatever, he paid my tab.”

At press time, Pullman was seen adjusting his Croft & Barrow cufflinks while asking the bartender if she’d ever been to St. Maarten.

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