Time Traveling Assassin Sent to Kill Hitler Mistakenly Kills Charlie Chaplin
WASHINGTON — Following the aftermath of his failed assignment, time traveling assassin Xavier Y’Tyil has been formally reprimanded after accidentally killing beloved silent-movie director, writer, and actor Charlie Chaplin during a mission to kill the infamous genocidal Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler.
Y’Tyil, a soldier for Time Corps, a militarized task force specializing in time travel, admitted before a hearing in front of the Time League assembly that he was remarkably confused by how closely Chaplin resembled the original target of the assassination.
“Those moustaches they both have are too damn similar, so they are too hard to tell apart from one another,” Y’Tyil told a packed room, adding that faulty coding during his launch into the past accidentally landed him in Los Angeles instead of Germany. “It also didn’t help that he was filming ‘The Great Dictator’ and in his Adenoid Hynkel costume. It really was an honest mistake.”
The Time League is reportedly still reeling from Y’Tyil’s accident, which did not alter the events surrounding World War II, but did significantly alter Hollywood and film history. According to an anonymous source within the assembly, “This has had a ripple effect that has made classic comedy ranging from “The Simpsons” to “Young Frankenstein” significantly less funny.”
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