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New Evidence Suggests 2009 the Year When Hampton Roads Drivers Collectively Stopped Using Turn Signals

NORFOLK, Va. — Citing factors such as complete stupidity and sheer laziness, a new study commissioned by the Virginia Department of Transportation (VDOT) revealed that 2009 was the year when Hampton Roads drivers stopped using their turn signals.

“According to our data, the entire Hampton Roads population seems to have effectively disconnected their turn signals sometime in the first half of the year 2009,” VDOT spokesperson Jerry Perkins said, adding that the results were consistent regardless of the scenario in which the simple safety device was neglected.

“Our original hypothesis claimed that 2014 may have been the year that Tidewater drivers stopped giving a damn, but after combing through the levels of turn signal usage in situations such as lane merging, making left or right turns, or pulling into parking spaces, we saw the figure practically flatline in 2009. It hasn’t gone up since.”

Perkins also noted that turn signal usage has typically been at its worst during the summer months, when vacationing motorists from Richmond and Northern Virginia descend upon the area.

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