Richmond Offering Comprehensive Classes to Explain GRTC Pulse Traffic Lanes

RICHMOND, Va. — In an effort to retrain residents to follow basic street signals and traffic patterns, Richmond city officials have started offering rigorous classes to help local drivers navigate around the GRTC Pulse traffic lanes.

The Pulse, which runs back and forth across the city, is set to launch this summer after approximately 2,542 years of inconveniencing everyone. Because its mission is to be fast and efficient, making as few stops as possible, the city has created private lanes and special traffic lights exclusively for Pulse buses.

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“We knew that adding a whole new lane onto the roads with specific traffic lights would suddenly and severely interfere with the city’s ability to drive,” GRTC spokesperson Ross Donahue said. “We saw it happen when VDOT introduced roundabouts and when the District of Columbia introduced the stop sign a few years ago. So we decided to provide a class to help drivers deal with the inevitable confusion and fear that the new GRTC traffic lights and lanes will bring.”

The class consists of both written and hands-on lessons and covers realistic issues drivers are likely to face during an encounter with the designated Pulse lanes. Courses include lessons on how to tell the difference between a full red circle and a thin white line on a stoplight, how to differentiate between a car and a public transportation bus, and what it means when a lane reads “Bus Only.” Additional courses cover such varied topics as what to do when you are inevitably driven off the road by a Pulse bus, how to avoid Pulse lanes entirely, and how to use Uber or Lyft instead.

Donahue further explained that, in order to consistently maximize efficiency, Pulse bus drivers are required to drive through anything that gets in their way, including cars, bikes, and even other Pulse buses. City officials assure drivers that this rule, despite being inspired by the Mad Max film franchise, will definitely not turn West Broad Street into even more of a post-apocalyptic hellscape.

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