Mulder and Scully to Investigate Traffic Around Quantico in Newest Season of “The X-Files”

DUMFRIES, Va. — Showrunner Chris Carter has confirmed that, in the highly anticipated new season of his iconic program “The X-Files,” the show’s two main characters will discover the truth about a highly-speculated-upon local, almost supernatural, oddity.

Carter is, of course, referring to the unusual, almost paranormal amount of traffic near Quantico on Interstate 95.

“For years, ‘X-Files’ fans have been asking and pleading for us to have Agents Mulder and Scully investigate this phenomenon, and we’ve always been reluctant to explore it,” Carter said. “But after a recent trip to see what all the fuss was about, we decided that there was enough material there for an episode.”

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“The FBI Academy is there and Mulder and Scully are in the FBI,” Carter elaborated. “It was pretty easy to just send them over there to see what the fuss was about.” Agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully have investigated everything from aliens to UFOs and vampires to psychics, and Carter wants to assure fans that this unusual premise will also produce some spooky, unexpected results.

Over the course of the episode, Mulder leads a preliminary investigation into the traffic. He then develops a theory that the traffic is so bad that it defies human understanding. Mulder tells Scully that he believes paranormal forces are at play. Scully, ever the skeptic, argues that poor planning, natural congestion, the proximity to the nation’s capital, and the fact that apparently no one has ever used one of the available the HOV lanes are collectively the cause of this phenomena.

However, as they get more into the case, Scully starts to realize that Mulder’s claims might not be as far-fetched as she originally believed.

“We don’t want to ruin the twist, but suffice to say, we found a perfect, ‘X-Files’ kind of way to explain the traffic,” Carter continued. “The genuine experience of being on 95 definitely helped inform this episode, because when you’re in traffic near Quantico, with that massive monolith of the National Museum of the Marine Corps in your rear-view mirror, you can’t help but think ‘something’s not quite right here, this is bad, this can’t be normal.’ And then you start to see that there’s no car wreck, there’s no construction. And then you start to wonder, ‘is this Hell? Am I in Hell?’”

“Having characters as beloved as Mulder and Scully go through that same thought process at 4 p.m. on a Thursday was a creative masterstroke, and we’re very excited for everyone to see the finished product,” Carter concluded.

Stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, who play Mulder and Scully respectively, were unavailable for comment, supposedly because they, too, are still stuck in the ominous traffic around Quantico.

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