ANNANDALE, Va. — A recent study commissioned by the Annandale Restaurant Information Research Council has confirmed that every restaurant in Annandale is a Korean barbecue establishment.
The study was the result of multiple inquiries asking the organization to confirm the oft-rumored statistic as valid. According to Dr. Reginald Okun, who led the study, the Annandale restaurant community has slowly been overtaken by bibimbap and kimchi-inspired cuisines.
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“We thought that there would be at least one restaurant that didn’t fit this standard, this mold,” Dr. Okun stated in his report, noting that the results surprised everyone on the team. “We were stunned when our research revealed that this was not the case. Our conclusion said that now, every restaurant in Annadale is a Korean BBQ joint serving delicious bulgogi.”
Annandale has often been the place Northern Virginians have gone to seek out foreign delicacy and exciting new dishes without leaving the comfort of the Beltway.
“Sure, Korean BBQ is yummy, and makes sense to have some of it around, particularly in the suburbs of the nation’s capital. But naturally, we thought market oversaturation and other economic principles would be enough to disprove this theory. Instead, economics textbooks might have to be rewritten with what we have discovered here in Annandale. If you listen closely, you might even hear Adam Smith spinning in his grave,” Okun admitted.
While the study’s conclusions are intriguing, Dr. Okun was quick to concede the various oddities that were encountered during its completion.
“We discovered that even the McDonalds is vaguely Korean BBQ? Like, it didn’t appear like you could order a Big Mac or anything. Instead, we sat down in front of a table with a grill on it, and sure enough, and people came and brought us various meats and things to put on it. This means that, whatever this occurrence is, it’s spreading and really making a concentrated effort by converting everything in the town,” Okun said.
Dr. Okun ended by warning that, if efforts are not made to contain the Korean BBQ phenomenon to Annandale, all restaurants from DC to Fredericksburg could be Korean BBQ by the end of the decade, and could potentially convert all restaurants in the Commonwealth within a decade’s time.
“If limitations aren’t put into place to control the spread of these restaurants, the entire state will be dining on Korean seafood pancakes by the end of the year,” Okun concluded.
“Now that we think about it, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”
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