News Peed

Drunk Woman Breaks Into 18 Camrys in the Fan

RICHMOND, Va. — A local woman was arrested late Friday night after systematically breaking into every Toyota Camry parked on Ellwood Avenue in the Carytown area of Richmond.

Tanya Jones, 23, was detained by the police following a spree of forcing 18 car doors open only to sit in the driver’s seat for a few moments before moving on to the next vehicle. When called to the scene officers noted that Jones was loudly shouting, “They all look the same! Every goddamn one!”

Those in the area at the time of the incident reported that Jones had been seen at both The Daily and Mellow Mushroom enjoying drinks and light food with friends until late into the night. Friends said that after hours of revelry Jones announced, “I’m gonna stop by my car for a second and then call a Lyft,” while waddling backwards through the Mellow Mushroom doorway.

In testimony given early Saturday morning, Jones told the police that she had abandoned any hope of driving home after drinking too much and that she only wanted to retrieve a few items from her car when she discovered she could not distinguish it from all the others on the block.

“I just wanted to grab my water bottle and some other stuff,” Jones divulged. “But the whole block was covered in Camrys. All of them the same sort of silver-green-grey color just like mine.”

In that same statement Jones went so far as to say that even the interiors of all of the cars shared striking similarities.

“In the time it took me to figure out the car wasn’t mine, I always found at least one or two highschool mix CDs, an empty soda bottle, and a Chipotle receipt.”

Police stated that this kind of occurrence is not uncommon, particularly with late-2000s Camrys.

“This sedan model is very popular with the mid-20-somethings in Richmond, as it was popular with 40-somethings 10 years ago,” Harold Green, an officer on the case, said. “The vehicles were originally purchased by parents who later resold or gifted them to their children.”

Jones was released this afternoon with no charges filed against her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: