Henrico Millennial Suffers PTSD When Seeing Back to School Shopping Ads

GLEN ALLEN, Va. — Henrico resident Ellie Madison, 26, suffered a mental breakdown episode after a bombardment of recent advertisements promoting back to school sales, reports confirmed Friday.

Officials say Madison was shopping in the Walmart in Short Pump when, upon accidentally stumbling into the back to school section, she suffered a severe panic attack. Madison was then taken to the hospital in an ambulance, where she was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

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According to a statement released by Henrico Doctors’ Hospital, Madison’s reaction was provoked by memories of SOLs, locker combinations, and trying to figure out where to sit at lunch on the first day. “This isn’t unusual for someone of Ellie’s age or background,” Dr. Simon Simeon, one of the doctors currently treating Madison, explained. “Cases like these are common this time of year; nothing brings about trauma and stress like the memory of your parents checking your grades on K12Planet.”

Medical officials have said that Madison has not displayed any overt symptoms since the original episode. “However,” Dr. Simeon told reporters, “we did notice that as she was sleeping last night, she kept tossing and turning in bed while screaming that Theatre IV was doing a play about Helen Keller in the auditorium and attendance was mandatory.”

Doctors are recommending that Madison limit physical activity for the next week and avoid any place where back to school ads may be found.

At press time, witnesses say Madison was asking doctors for first day of school fashion advice and what to do if none of her friends were in her home room.

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