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First Date at Axe Throwing Bar Went Pretty Well

RICHMOND, Va. — Claiming that the severed limbs and copious amounts of blood only added to the excitement of their first date, two local singles had a pretty enjoyable night at a Carytown axe throwing bar, sources confirmed Tuesday.

In an attempt to continue catering to Richmond’s largest demographic of “active alcoholics,” River City Sports & Social Club has just created a new axe throwing league at Thirsty Joe’s Draft House in Carytown. The twice-weekly event is intended for young Richmond singles who desperately want to plan a date that appears mildly interesting and includes activities other than just drinking and regret.

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Kristin Montgomery and Ryan Bauer, who met on Tinder, decided to have their first date at the drafthouse, where they were able to partake in the sport with the league’s participants.

“I was pretty nervous because you never know what kind of people you’re going to meet online,” Montgomery recounted. “But when Ryan said he wanted to go grab a drink and then haphazardly toss medieval weaponry in a public place with little to no training, I had a feeling things were going to go well.”

Witnesses report that the evening took a turn, however. Due to the heavy amounts of alcohol consumed before throwing deadly weapons in close proximity to others, fellow bar patrons say Bauer accidentally walked into the line of Montgomery’s axe trajectory and required immediate medical attention. Bauer was admitted to the VCU Emergency room with a very severe case of what experts call “having no right hand.” EMT Sean Norman said of the scene, “I haven’t seen that much blood at a bar since the Great Drag Brunch Brawl of 2011.”

Regardless of the incident, both Bauer and Montgomery agreed that the date was overall a success.

“I got to meet his parents for the first time, which was great even with all the crying and blood,” Montgomery told reporters. “It definitely went better than most of my other dates. Last week I went out with a guy who said he wasn’t a down-to-earth fan of “The Office” who enjoyed staying in but sometimes going out. I mean, wow.”

For their second date, the couple intends to meet at Scott’s Addition’s new jousting bar for some more wholesome medieval fun.

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