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“Did You Know There’s a Town in Virginia Called Bumpass?” Says Guy Who Just Fucking Got Here

HENRICO, Va. — Aggravatingly overjoyed at the fact that a town with such a crude sounding name exists in Virginia, Christopher Doyle, a new resident to Henrico, has just discovered the small Louisa community of Bumpass and won’t shut up about it.

Doyle, who just arrived here a month ago and can’t seem to take a hint, wasted no time in blabbering his thoughts about the name of the unincorporated community on his Facebook page.

“It’s this little podunk town in the middle of nowhere, and it’s literally spelled B-u-m-p-a-s-s,” Doyle shared in a recent Facebook post, revealing a shocking fact that he apparently thought no one else had ever noticed. He later added that while the spelling of the name had lewd undertones that only a 12 year old would find amusing, the proper pronunciation was disappointing. “Unfortunately it’s not actually pronounced ‘bump-ass,’ but wouldn’t it be hilarious if it was?”

The newcomer then went on to joke about how silly the name Short Pump sounded and that it was a shame there wasn’t a Long Pump located on the other side of Richmond.

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