Mayor Levar Stoney Proposes Moving Monument Avenue, Leave Monuments Behind
RICHMOND, Va. — In a bizarre twist on the Monument Avenue controversy, Richmond mayor Levar Stoney recently proposed an option that would leave the statues untouched and instead relocate Monument Avenue.
While Monument Avenue has been a symbol of Richmond for several decades, the memories conjured up by statues honoring Confederate soldiers reflect a darker era in the city’s history. Many feel that the monuments represent an age rooted in slavery, racism, and hatred and wish to have them removed.
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Though other cities in the United States are in the process of eliminating their statues commemorating the Confederacy, the City of Richmond believes that there could be a more positive alternative.
“After lengthy discussion with advisors, we feel as though this is a compromise we can all live with,” Stoney said. “It was either remove the statues from Monument Avenue or remove Monument Avenue from the statues. Our research shows that it’s much easier to move a street than it is the statues.”
Stoney’s act of leaving the statues where they are is an obvious olive branch to those individuals and special interest groups who have yet to get over a war that ended 150 years ago. “We’ve always said that you can’t change history,” said Cousins of the Confederates president Ronald Witherspoon. “But by the mayor keeping the monuments, he’s not changing it. He’s ignoring it. And to be quite honest, I’m not sure if you can or can’t ignore history. I’m going to have to look that up.”
If the decision is made to move Monument Avenue, the next step for the mayor’s office will be finding a site for relocation. With approximately 4.7 miles of street on hand, the challenge for Stoney will be making sure the new spot is suitable for everyone.
“Obviously our first choice was Short Pump,” Stoney said. “But then I realized, as the mayor of Richmond that wouldn’t be a wise fiscal maneuver. Things like Easter on Parade and the Monument Avenue 10k are serious cash cows. So now we’re looking at either somewhere downtown or in Scott’s Addition. At this point it’s still up in the air.”
Whatever course of action Mayor Stoney decides to take, he wants Richmonders to know one thing: if Monument Avenue is moved, the Arthur Ashe statue will move with it. “For one, he’s not really the problem here,” Stoney stated. “Second, it would be difficult to have a street called ‘Monument Avenue’ and not have any monuments on it.”
If the mayor’s proposal is approved, the City of Richmond would be left with the task of renaming the remaining stretch of road. The names that have been considered range from the innocuous (Statue Street, The Avenue Formerly Known As Monument) to the inflammatory (Racism Road, Indentured Servitude Terrace). The mayor believes that the people of Richmond will be okay no matter what the name becomes.
“One thing about Richmonders, we’re used to change,” Stoney said. “We went from the Braves to the Flying Squirrels, so we’ll be alright.”
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The Peedmont 
How about leaving the whole thing alone and setting a example that the past is a lesdon not to be repeated. Each street in this city has a history to tell good or bad. Those that are hurt can find ways to seek healing, instead of wanting distruction of property and costing tax payers thounsands even millions. There are therapy and counseling people can do.
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This article is satire… but you should check out Levar Stoney’s actual plan of adding historical context to the monuments.
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This article is satire, but Levar Stoney does have an actual plan of adding historical context to the monuments- google Monument Avenue Commission.
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I hear that when there is a full moon, those statues come to life as terrible evil monsters who jump down off their pedestals and grab children and gullible adults who have been brainwashed to believe a politically correct false narrative.
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What a ridiculous solution.Leave the monuments…Leave the Monument Avenue name. People come from all over the country to peruse the beautiful artwork on that street.
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Hey Stone how about you do something about the crime and drug problem in Richmond .. Oh that is because your a criminal yourself…
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When are you people going to grow up? Leave them both alone!Just because some are Scared of it, it happened! YOU CAN NOT CHANGE ANYTHING. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HISTORY! You can’t have a Monument Ave. without monuments! We were the capital of the Confederacy! LIVE WITH IT AND QUIT GETTING YOUR PANTIES IN A WAD!!!!!!!!!
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