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Facing Pressure, Washington and Lee University Changes Name to Stonewall Jackson and Lee University

LEXINGTON, Va. — As universities strive to be more socially conscious, long-standing institutions have been forced to keep up with the changing times. One such institution, Washington and Lee University, has finally addressed the controversy stemming from the university’s name honoring General Robert E. Lee in addition to President George Washington. The university has finally given in, as the administration today announced that it will be changing the university’s name to Stonewall Jackson and Lee University.

“After some thoughtful consideration and, keeping in mind that, to many Americans, our university’s name is offensive, from this day forward Washington and Lee University will be named Stonewall Jackson and Lee University,” President William Dudley announced this week.

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Dudley explained, “We are finally addressing this long-standing injustice that there are precious few colleges in the United States named after General Stonewall Jackson. I mean, look, George Washington is a great American, but the guy already has a city named after him and at least one other college, so we figured it was just fair to cut him from the name altogether.”

The support from the student body has been overwhelming. Rising sophomore Eric Brewster voiced his approval for the change. “This is truly a great day for Virginia,” he stated. “I love President Washington as much as anyone, but if we’re being honest, he’s really from Northern Virginia. Mount Vernon is basically D.C., which is basically Maryland, and Maryland is awful. It’s about time we had a school named after two real Virginians.”

Some students, however, were not so pleased with the university’s new name. Senior student, Emily McDougal, opined that the change does little to address the demands of social justice in 2018. “I think this is a travesty,” she said, heatidly. “Washington and Lee is not a military institution like VMI, and I will not support this university being named after two warmongering generals. To me, there’s no other choice but to name the school after a great statesman and a gentleman: President Jefferson Davis. He was a gifted leader who only has a highway named after him. I think he deserves to have his name attached to something more impressive than a stretch of road best known for its wide selection of prostitutes and restaurants that will likely give you cancer.”

Regardless of the public’s opinion, it appears as if the social justice warriors of Virginia have scored another victory in the war against political incorrectness. Luckily, for a school named after Stonewall Jackson and Robert E. Lee, it’s clear they know a little something about winning wars.  

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2 Comments on Facing Pressure, Washington and Lee University Changes Name to Stonewall Jackson and Lee University

  1. The quotes from the two students mentioned really doesn’t give me any confidence in the quality of education at whatever this school would like to be called….


  2. Marcos Carlos Williams // June 16, 2020 at 2:03 pm // Reply

    This story and the rolling headlines are funny. Thanks.


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