RICHMOND, Va. — Each year, thousands of music lovers and their hippie parents descend on Brown’s Island for three days of wholesome family fun, cultural immersion, and sick pan flute solos. However, this year the festival’s organizers have decided to throw out the old playbook and give the people what they really want: more tambourine.
When the lineup was first released to the public, several commenters suggested it was an oversight to clump together so many bands that heavily featured the tambourine. However, festival director Quincy Harris assured attendees that it was in fact intentional.
“Yes, we did receive some calls complaining about the tambourine roster, but we received far, far more asking for even more tambourine,” Harris said. “I swear, these kombucha drinking millennials can’t get enough of this stuff.”
Longtime folk festival attendee Roger Cochran was one of the most prominent voices advocating an increased role for tambourines at the festival, threatening to boycott the entire weekend if there weren’t at least five consecutive tambourine solos.
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“Some people come here for the funnel cakes, others for the Laotian mouth organ,” Cochran said while gently swaying back and forth to some Phish music playing from his neck speakers. “I’m just here for that sweet, mellow jingle jangle.”
Zack Reynolds came to the festival just to see the Orquesta El Macabeo perform from their new album. “First, the lead singer came out with no instrument and just started awkwardly gyrating to the music,” Reynolds said. “You could tell he didn’t know what to do with his hands, and before you knew it, bam, a tambourine just appeared.”
Despite the increased attention paid to the subtle art of gently tapping a bunch of tiny cymbals against the palm of your hand, several attendees were disappointed that organizers didn’t take things even further.
“Claire Lynch, now we expected some serious tambourine from her,” Beckie Stephens, a divorced mother of two told the Peedmont. “But it ended up just being a moderate amount of tambourine. My kids were devastated. At least the hologram of Bob Dylan playing Mr. Tambourine Man in the background was on point.”
At press time, the entire New York Crimean Tatar Ensemble had announced they left all their instruments at home and would instead be performing a four-hour tambourine jam session.
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