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Sulking Dave Brat Cheers up After Being Reminded He No Longer Has to Deal With Female Constituents

RICHMOND, Va. —  Weeping in the aftermath of defeat in the Virginia midterm election, Rep. Dave Brat, R-7th, cheered up after being reminded that his district contained women, sources confirmed Wednesday morning. “It’s really too bad he didn’t win over that Nancy Pelosi wanna-be,” George Chauncey, Brat’s campaign manager, stated in an interview after the outcome of the election was revealed. “Poor Dave has been feeling pretty down since the results came in last night, but he bucked up a bit when we pointed out to him that he’d have to keep dealing with female constituents for another couple of years had he won.” Chauncey added that Brat still had a lot of grief to overcome and would be retreating to his estrogen-free residence with close friends, family, and Tea Party voters, and would remain unreachable for comment.

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