News Peed

VCU Basketball Excited to Begin Fourth Year of Irrelevance Under Coach Not Shaka Smart


RICHMOND, Va. — Anticipating yet another season of completely forgettable games, VCU basketball has expressed eagerness to begin playing again under the coaching of someone who’s not Shaka Smart, sources confirm Friday.

RELATED (article continued below):

  • Looking for a neat holiday gift? Check out our Facebook shop and pick up one of our 2019 Calendars: “Universities of the Commonwealth”

“I think this year we’re really going to play to the best of our partially-exerted abilities,” the current VCU basketball coach whose name nobody ever remembers said. “It’s what I tell my players before every game: we’re going to get out there and really show them a team that plays just fine.”

The coach who isn’t Shaka Smart continued to explain their plan to match the energy and ability from last year. “We look forward to making headlines in the VCU school paper and pretty much nowhere else,” what’s-his-name told reporters.

According to reports, the VCU basketball team has a similar sense of mild anticipation for the upcoming year. “I’m fairly pumped for the upcoming season. That guy makes me feel moderately excited to play each game,” point guard Brandon Lewis said, forgetting the name of the coach he’s played under for the past year.

At press time, a group of VCU alumni were seen standing outside the Siegel Center wearing their commemorative Final Four T-shirts, reminiscing about the one year that VCU basketball was known outside of the city.


2 Trackbacks / Pingbacks

  1. Op-ed: Havoc Doesn’t Live Here, but He Crashes on the Couch Pretty Often – The Peedmont
  2. VCU Brandcenter Offers Newest Track: Insufferability – The Peedmont

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: