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Liberty University Overlooks Hebrews 13:4 in Exchange for Strong Option Offense

LYNCHBURG, Va. — Prioritizing the advancement of the school’s football program, Liberty University announced that they were willing to overlook Hebrews 13:4 in order to hire former Mississippi coach Hugh Freeze to lead the Liberty Flames, sources confirmed Saturday.

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Coaching at Liberty represents a return to football for Freeze after he abruptly resigned as the Ole Miss head coach in 2017 amid accusations that he called an escort service on a university-issued phone.

Freeze became a born-again Christian after leaving Ole Miss. Critics have wondered if this was strategic; following his resignation, Freeze’s only other coaching offer came from the Arizona Hotshots of the Alliance of American Football, which is slightly less embarrassing than coaching in the XFL.

Dale Rogers, Liberty’s athletic director, brushed off Freeze’s past as nothing serious.

“Hugh’s got a great track record,” Rogers said. “I know the Bible says adultery is a sin, but we have a real chance to rise to the top of the Atlantic Sun Conference under his leadership.”

In a press release discussing Freeze’s hiring, Rogers stated that even though the Bible is an infallible text, the need for a good coach takes precedence over the book’s teachings on family values and morals.

“Marriage is a strong bond, indeed, as Hebrews 13:4 states, but Freeze really is a great coach. There are definitely some verses that are non-negotiable, but 13:4 is one we’re willing to bend if it gives us a shot at the playoffs.”

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